So today was writing Friday. we were given a paper and we had to choose one topic to write about, surprisingly this one appeared, and I chose to write about it.
Very high IQ paper
Nice
It’s a honey trap option so they can catch and gangstalk incels.
Personally, I would try to cite sources and make the writing seem less emotional unless making an appeal to emotion is part of the writing prompt. I think your teacher will think you're a sperg if you turn this in but if you try to make it look like you're taking a more objective stance on the topic they'll probably see it as a more convincing argument. say something like "X study shows men 6ft+ are far more likely to be promoted and make up the majority of CEOs" or something to that effect to show the inequality between people with different genetics and how others view them.
0/10 because this sounds inkwelly
Is this the full assignment? What grade are you in to where you can pass writing this amount of words this looks to be around 500.
"But yet" is not proper grammar.
Just say appearance or just say physical attractiveness instead of "appearance or looks".
Also when you wrote "If they say the same thing (like morning beautiful)" why would you include the "like" part in the quote instead of "if they say the same thing like (morning beautiful)."
When mentioning halo effect you wrote "search it up", provide your own evidence or at least paraphrase briefly what it means you lazy retard.
Why would you randomly bring up immigration and tie racism to lookism WITHOUT EVEN PROVIDING EVIDENCE??? It makes 0 fucking sense and it is not even true as foids are more democrat leaning who happen to be the party that supports immigration.
When you write about the Indian janitor you just start a new sentence with no punctuation. Also the default font looks like shit.
There are so many problems with this I could have made this reply much longer if I wasn't on my phone.
TLDR: This is a fucking awful essay and I would be embarrassed if I wrote that. You should delete it all and start from scratch if you still can.
"But yet" is not proper grammar.
Just say appearance or just say physical attractiveness instead of "appearance or looks".
Also when you wrote "If they say the same thing (like morning beautiful)" why would you include the "like" part in the quote instead of "if they say the same thing like (morning beautiful)."
When mentioning halo effect you wrote "search it up", provide your own evidence or at least paraphrase briefly what it means you lazy retard.
Why would you randomly bring up immigration and tie racism to lookism WITHOUT EVEN PROVIDING EVIDENCE??? It makes 0 fucking sense and it is not even true as foids are more democrat leaning who happen to be the party that supports immigration.
When you write about the Indian janitor you just start a new sentence with no punctuation. Also the default font looks like shit.
There are so many problems with this I could have made this reply much longer if I wasn't on my phone.
TLDR: This is a fucking awful essay and I would be embarrassed if I wrote that. You should delete it all and start from scratch if you still can.
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Punctuation, grammar, and spacing are terrible. Things like "Throw themselves at men" will be unconvincing to noncels, so try to keep in mind your audience. Include more evidence/statistics to support your claims since they are both true and readily available. Try to develop your ideas throughout the essay instead of just spilling out the viewpoints with no structure. Overall it's still a 10/10 because of the kernel of truth it contains so good job brocel. You will be pumping out novels in no time.
Will give OP benefit of doubt and assume this is a second language class.
You didn’t waste any time with the Indian janitor example kek.
Honestly, Assuming OP is ESL is far more brutal than that post
Sorry i didnt read it, i just wrote. But thank you for telling me, ill email my emglish teacher tommorow and tell him not to mark, ill go read my own writing and make the changes.
Sorry i didnt read it, i just wrote. But thank you for telling me, ill email my emglish teacher tommorow and tell him not to mark, ill go read my own writing and make the changes.
Lmao, I didn’t read it at first, but that shit’s hilarious. Outstanding work OP, I hope your professor is a non-bluepilled man and the feds don’t get on your ass for this.
THanks. Il post the one without grammar or punctuation errors soon, most likely im just goner add words that missing.
Reminds of the time in math class when we’re suppose to do a an essay on algebra or some shit but my low iQ ass didn’t follow the instructions and I ended up doing mine on the battle of the bugle.
The instant spiral into autistic psycho statics killed me
Is your teacher a toilet or a human being? That's will account for 80-90% of how it is received.
I agree with other people saying it's entertaining but academic fags want formal writing and the LOVE appeals to authority. If you wrote it more objectively with citations to the psychology of masking, social identity theory, self-monitoring theory, etc. the same idea would be received better. Use the theories of "respected" psychologists to defend your position and normies can't resist because they are FOLLOWERS at heart.
I agree with other people saying it's entertaining but academic fags want formal writing and the LOVE appeals to authority. If you wrote it more objectively with citations to the psychology of masking, social identity theory, self-monitoring theory, etc. the same idea would be received better. Use the theories of "respected" psychologists to defend your position and normies can't resist because they are FOLLOWERS at heart.
THanks. Il post the one without grammar or punctuation errors soon, most likely im just goner add words that missing
I loved your paper humanistically, because it's so honest and true to your intelligence level. But frankly you will be brutally penalized for a paper like this because you sound like a turd that only sounds as retarded as he does simply because of the lack of commitment to be cogent in an academic sort of way.
It's a bigoted system that school literally punishes stupid lazy people, and rewards hard-working suck ups that are only smart enough to simply follow the rules. School is literally a pyramid scheme for hall-monitors.
It's a bigoted system that school literally punishes stupid lazy people, and rewards hard-working suck ups that are only smart enough to simply follow the rules. School is literally a pyramid scheme for hall-monitors.
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I'll only look at the grammar in this essay.
What is more important: appearance or personality
>needs to be in titlecase, whether that is in APA, MLA, Chicago, etc.
>you need ? in place of : and ? at the end
Humans are visual creatures, it's how we are made.
>needs ; after "creatures" instead of ,
You see no one can know what the inside of you is, only God can.
>needs , after "see"
Personality as we know it is just what you show people. You could present yourself to people in a good sense/view, but yet when you're alone you behave differently.
>"but yet" is redundant
>needs , after yet if you do include it
>needs , after "alone"
An example would be a pastor preaching against adultery but yet cheats on his wife in darkness.
>"but yet" is redundant
>needs , before "but"
>needs , after "yet"
Another example would be an abuser presenting himself to the world in a good way, but yet at home treats his loved ones differently.
>"but yet" is redundant
>needs , after "yet"
Not to mention around the world, they go to church, or other place where people congregate, hang out with their friends, peers, but yet once that is over and they go home, and are alone or believe that they are alone and no one can see them, they behave their true self in darkness some of them login to the internet and do/watch bad stuff, some of them do drugs.. Etc.
>"place" should be plural
>"but yet" is redundant
>needs , after "yet"
>needs . after "darkness"
>"darkness" needs to be capitalized
>missed a . in the ellipsis (...)
>etc. could be lowercase since it's not a sentence
What you do when you're alone is who you are. Seek change.
No one really knows who you are, what your real personality is, no one knows that.
>an — (em dash) would be better after "no one knows that" as in "No one really knows who you are, what your real personality is—no one knows that."
Only you do, and so does God.
Appearance or looks is determined by genetics, your genetic makeup plays a huge role in your social life.
>needs a ; after "genetics"
It is well known that people who are viewed as attractive have an easier life, people treat them well, show some respect, do them a favor, give them answers for their homework, etc. While ugly people, particularly ugly men, know the true nature of people, people would abuse you, treat you badly, deny you, be more likely to accuse you, stereotype you.
>"While" shouldn't be capitalized and needs a , before it
>"show more respect" instead of "some respect"
Tall men are viewed as attractive by women, and since they are viewed as attractive by women, women just throw themselves at them, letting the tall
men use them. And because the percentage of tall men 6ft+ is only 14% they compete for these types of men.
>needs , after "14%"
Basically Tall men have harems while short men have none.
>needs , after "Basically"
>"Tall" should not be capitalized
>needs , before "while"
The reason why women desire tall men, one could say is because they want tall kids.
>needs , after "one could say"
Women, at least the majority of women would rather be with a good looking Tall guy, who has a horrible personality is abuse, beats them, doesn't care about them, but at least his tee-hee, than a guy who has a good personality, loves god, but oh he just happens to be short.
>"good looking" needs to be hyphenated (-)
>needs , after "majority of women"
>"Tall" should not be capitalized
>needs , after "horrible personality"
>"abusive" and not "abuse"
>"his tee-hee"? What?
>"god" needs capitalization... unless you're referring to some non-Abrahamic deity
>needs , after "oh"
Women are more shallow than men, and one of the reasons why I suspect that there are conditions in a young age to value looks, it starts with toys such as Barbie dolls, then it moves to makeup.
>needs a ; after "looks"
The same can't be said for boys.
Let's take two people as an example. One is Indian, he works as a janitor and is 5'2, he's considered short.
>needs ; instead of , or at least an "and" before "he's considered short"
And his face is not good looking
>missing period (.)
The Second person is white, unemployed, and he's 6'4, he's considered tall.
>"Second" should not be capitalized
>needs ; before "he's considered tall" in place of ,
He Has a good looking face
>"Has" should not be capitalized
>"good looking" needs to be hyphenated (-)
>missing period (.)
If they both say the same thing, "like morning beautiful, how's your day" to a woman.
>the " needs to be before "morning," not before "like"
>"Morning, beautiful. How's your day?" is correct
The woman will react differently.
>needs , instead of the period in the previous sentence before "The" and so "The" should also be lowercase
She'll be creeped out by the first, and the reason is he's not considered attractive, but the second guy, who is considered attractive, she'll be blushing, and will be appreciative.
Looks also influence immigration/migration. Most people who are against immigration/migration one of the things that influence their thinking is that these people are not like them, they're different..
>needs , before "one of the things"
If you are ugly people will show you their prejudice, they'll be more openly racist, discriminatory than another person who is the same race as you, but happens to be considered attractive.
>needs , after "ugly"
>needs ; after "prejudice"
>there should not be a , in "you, but"
What is more important: appearance or personality
>needs to be in titlecase, whether that is in APA, MLA, Chicago, etc.
>you need ? in place of : and ? at the end
Humans are visual creatures, it's how we are made.
>needs ; after "creatures" instead of ,
You see no one can know what the inside of you is, only God can.
>needs , after "see"
Personality as we know it is just what you show people. You could present yourself to people in a good sense/view, but yet when you're alone you behave differently.
>"but yet" is redundant
>needs , after yet if you do include it
>needs , after "alone"
An example would be a pastor preaching against adultery but yet cheats on his wife in darkness.
>"but yet" is redundant
>needs , before "but"
>needs , after "yet"
Another example would be an abuser presenting himself to the world in a good way, but yet at home treats his loved ones differently.
>"but yet" is redundant
>needs , after "yet"
Not to mention around the world, they go to church, or other place where people congregate, hang out with their friends, peers, but yet once that is over and they go home, and are alone or believe that they are alone and no one can see them, they behave their true self in darkness some of them login to the internet and do/watch bad stuff, some of them do drugs.. Etc.
>"place" should be plural
>"but yet" is redundant
>needs , after "yet"
>needs . after "darkness"
>"darkness" needs to be capitalized
>missed a . in the ellipsis (...)
>etc. could be lowercase since it's not a sentence
What you do when you're alone is who you are. Seek change.
No one really knows who you are, what your real personality is, no one knows that.
>an — (em dash) would be better after "no one knows that" as in "No one really knows who you are, what your real personality is—no one knows that."
Only you do, and so does God.
Appearance or looks is determined by genetics, your genetic makeup plays a huge role in your social life.
>needs a ; after "genetics"
It is well known that people who are viewed as attractive have an easier life, people treat them well, show some respect, do them a favor, give them answers for their homework, etc. While ugly people, particularly ugly men, know the true nature of people, people would abuse you, treat you badly, deny you, be more likely to accuse you, stereotype you.
>"While" shouldn't be capitalized and needs a , before it
>"show more respect" instead of "some respect"
Tall men are viewed as attractive by women, and since they are viewed as attractive by women, women just throw themselves at them, letting the tall
men use them. And because the percentage of tall men 6ft+ is only 14% they compete for these types of men.
>needs , after "14%"
Basically Tall men have harems while short men have none.
>needs , after "Basically"
>"Tall" should not be capitalized
>needs , before "while"
The reason why women desire tall men, one could say is because they want tall kids.
>needs , after "one could say"
Women, at least the majority of women would rather be with a good looking Tall guy, who has a horrible personality is abuse, beats them, doesn't care about them, but at least his tee-hee, than a guy who has a good personality, loves god, but oh he just happens to be short.
>"good looking" needs to be hyphenated (-)
>needs , after "majority of women"
>"Tall" should not be capitalized
>needs , after "horrible personality"
>"abusive" and not "abuse"
>"his tee-hee"? What?
>"god" needs capitalization... unless you're referring to some non-Abrahamic deity
>needs , after "oh"
Women are more shallow than men, and one of the reasons why I suspect that there are conditions in a young age to value looks, it starts with toys such as Barbie dolls, then it moves to makeup.
>needs a ; after "looks"
The same can't be said for boys.
Let's take two people as an example. One is Indian, he works as a janitor and is 5'2, he's considered short.
>needs ; instead of , or at least an "and" before "he's considered short"
And his face is not good looking
>missing period (.)
The Second person is white, unemployed, and he's 6'4, he's considered tall.
>"Second" should not be capitalized
>needs ; before "he's considered tall" in place of ,
He Has a good looking face
>"Has" should not be capitalized
>"good looking" needs to be hyphenated (-)
>missing period (.)
If they both say the same thing, "like morning beautiful, how's your day" to a woman.
>the " needs to be before "morning," not before "like"
>"Morning, beautiful. How's your day?" is correct
The woman will react differently.
>needs , instead of the period in the previous sentence before "The" and so "The" should also be lowercase
She'll be creeped out by the first, and the reason is he's not considered attractive, but the second guy, who is considered attractive, she'll be blushing, and will be appreciative.
Looks also influence immigration/migration. Most people who are against immigration/migration one of the things that influence their thinking is that these people are not like them, they're different..
>needs , before "one of the things"
If you are ugly people will show you their prejudice, they'll be more openly racist, discriminatory than another person who is the same race as you, but happens to be considered attractive.
>needs , after "ugly"
>needs ; after "prejudice"
>there should not be a , in "you, but"
To end this never ending long essay: I'll end it like this, it's known as the halo effect, search it up.
People treat you better if you're attractive. People can't treat you based on your personality, and that is because they don't know. Appearance plays a huge role in how people treat you.
>"never ending" should be hyphenated
>needs to be , after "never ending"
>"To end this never ending long essay" and "I'll end it like this" is redundant
>needs ; after "search it up"
People treat you better if you're attractive. People can't treat you based on your personality, and that is because they don't know. Appearance plays a huge role in how people treat you.
>"never ending" should be hyphenated
>needs to be , after "never ending"
>"To end this never ending long essay" and "I'll end it like this" is redundant
>needs ; after "search it up"
Yeah, he should use Times New Roman for fuck's sake. No offense, OP.
You are fucked, my boy. Male teachers hate their male students. He will skin you.
Cope.
his writing reflects an IQ of 80Yeah, he should use Times New Roman for fuck's sake. No offense, OP.
You are fucked, my boy. Male teachers hate their male students. He will skin you.
Cope.
Lazy jock assholes get high marks while the hard-working incels recieve the ire of divorced male teachers for stepping into class two seconds late.
There's no way this is a 12th grade writing class what the fuck, insane levels of autism. Talking about 5'2 Indian janitors on a high school essay.
There's no way this is a 12th grade writing class what the fuck, insane levels of autism. Talking about 5'2 Indian janitors on a high school essay.
It does not even read like an incel wrote this essay. This seems like something a normie would write if he was attempting to mock an incel manifesto. I am finding it very hard to believe that this is real. What fucking grade must one be in to believe that this is an acceptable essay.
I always find Grammarly is a great tool to highlight punctuation, spelling and grammar errors.
it sounds like if a drunk concerned libtard divorced mom discovers the art of trolling because she hates her loser son that's the way he is due to your shitty parenting in the first place
The fact that this is even a question for some people is absurd
You're going to fail this essay, not because of the topic but how horribly written it is.
Dogshit, nice work
Use AI to improve your CV without you needing to check for spelling, grammar and punctuation mistakes.
Pertaining to standard english, the grammar is really bad. Your main points are true though.
Mogs me i was HS dropout
Rule #1 never preach blackpill to normies they will always reject and demonise you for it. We have to be crypto-incels
Well said and absolutely correct.
What was your grade
Im in last year of high school
i would explain the halo effect instead of leaving it on a cliffhanger
I meant on the assignment
You're getting an F if your teacher is a foid
K
Do you have to provide evidence? If so or if you are allowed to, cite some studies, so that your claims are further legitimized.
Get ready to be marked down as an incel and potential school shooter! FBI coming for your ass.
I wonder if you blackpilled your teacher with this. When do you get it back? Please share your grade and any feedback!
Holy fuck i hope that you didnt turn that paper in . If you did, expect to become the laughing stock of the school tomorrow
. If you did, expect to become the laughing stock of the school tomorrow
Based, but they will send you to the shrink.
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