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hello, im new, and 34, and incredibly naive. im starting to feel like i'll never find real love which is what i've been holding out for (also i dont really care unless im particular horny, im fine alone). I was in an online relationship with a girl i loved since we were kids (online game), it seemed like heaven, we never fought, so much in common, having fun together, we talked all the time and had phone sex, but right before we took a trip together that we'd just planned and booked together and had real sex or even a real life relationship, she cheated like it was nothing and left forever, I thought she was different than all the other sluts this modern world corrupts. Now we'll never talk again and i feel like my life is basically over.
If it didnt work with her what hope does any other stranger have especially with realistically how much a loser i am, struggling in los angeles with barely any money to get by without losing all the lifepoints that keep me from the street, to my name, no real friends, shattered dreams, you know, the usual for all who try to come out here without connections. No matter how bad it gets I wont kill myself though, if anything i'd just get more daring and have a death wish, then I'll either get stronger/enriched from the experience or die.
Anyway, I drive by streetwalkers at night all the time on my way home from a dead end job and some of them are really hot and tempting, I've even pulled up to some and asked how much and the price is pretty low I was shocked. I always thought hookers were far more expensive. Just 100 for an hour sex and like 60 for head. I guess i'd also have to find a motel room so thats a cost as well.
One was so hot she walked right up to me despite me saying i was just trying to turn at that corner, and put on this cute sexy jessica rabbit kinda vibe saying like too bad we couldve had fun and i hope you dont forget me you know where to find me etc. Other hookers I'd talked to before didn't act as seductive, they called me baby but other than that not really trying. I know its just an act, shes a whore that needs money for the gang she probably works for but i was so turned on like i thought i couldn't be anymore and highly considered losing it to her. Maybe even still, maybe I'll go back. I'm worried i'd regret it for the rest of my life though since i hold love so highly, and I dont know what itd be like, would it be purely clinical and she'd bend over let me bang her holes and finish probably quickly and then that's it, or would it feel like a real lovemaking session that just ends afterward, would she keep up the act pretend she loves me, moaning, let me do whatever i want to her? Maybe that's extra.
Other things im worried about are the gang she probably works for, pimps, cops, stds, being robbed for more than she said... In terms of milestones, haven't even visited a strip club yet, or tried tinder, and im thinking i should try those things first and then maybe get a hooker if I become a 35 y/o virgin despite trying. I'm not ugly, I think I'm somewhat attractive, but not chad-tier, not the model-tier guys i see walking around here, and i dont have a big dick so i feel random hookups purely for sex are off the table for me. Closest thing I've had to real pussy is a fleshlight, my one and only toy, and even so I only got it to help with the phone sex, feels great but i dont know how close it is.
tldr im basically a loser, most modern hedonist girls are whores waiting to have an onlyfans anyway, probably will never find real sacred innocent love, i hate sluts but cant beat em, join/pay em to get it over with?
If you got one or can relate, what was your experience?
If it didnt work with her what hope does any other stranger have especially with realistically how much a loser i am, struggling in los angeles with barely any money to get by without losing all the lifepoints that keep me from the street, to my name, no real friends, shattered dreams, you know, the usual for all who try to come out here without connections. No matter how bad it gets I wont kill myself though, if anything i'd just get more daring and have a death wish, then I'll either get stronger/enriched from the experience or die.
Anyway, I drive by streetwalkers at night all the time on my way home from a dead end job and some of them are really hot and tempting, I've even pulled up to some and asked how much and the price is pretty low I was shocked. I always thought hookers were far more expensive. Just 100 for an hour sex and like 60 for head. I guess i'd also have to find a motel room so thats a cost as well.
One was so hot she walked right up to me despite me saying i was just trying to turn at that corner, and put on this cute sexy jessica rabbit kinda vibe saying like too bad we couldve had fun and i hope you dont forget me you know where to find me etc. Other hookers I'd talked to before didn't act as seductive, they called me baby but other than that not really trying. I know its just an act, shes a whore that needs money for the gang she probably works for but i was so turned on like i thought i couldn't be anymore and highly considered losing it to her. Maybe even still, maybe I'll go back. I'm worried i'd regret it for the rest of my life though since i hold love so highly, and I dont know what itd be like, would it be purely clinical and she'd bend over let me bang her holes and finish probably quickly and then that's it, or would it feel like a real lovemaking session that just ends afterward, would she keep up the act pretend she loves me, moaning, let me do whatever i want to her? Maybe that's extra.
Other things im worried about are the gang she probably works for, pimps, cops, stds, being robbed for more than she said... In terms of milestones, haven't even visited a strip club yet, or tried tinder, and im thinking i should try those things first and then maybe get a hooker if I become a 35 y/o virgin despite trying. I'm not ugly, I think I'm somewhat attractive, but not chad-tier, not the model-tier guys i see walking around here, and i dont have a big dick so i feel random hookups purely for sex are off the table for me. Closest thing I've had to real pussy is a fleshlight, my one and only toy, and even so I only got it to help with the phone sex, feels great but i dont know how close it is.
tldr im basically a loser, most modern hedonist girls are whores waiting to have an onlyfans anyway, probably will never find real sacred innocent love, i hate sluts but cant beat em, join/pay em to get it over with?
If you got one or can relate, what was your experience?
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