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SuicideFuel Stories from the Closed Psychiatric Facility, Part: 2

Borderline-Cel

Borderline-Cel

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Before I begin, here's the link to the part one for those who might have missed the first entry of my diary series:


Since the events of the first entry, a lot has transpired. For those of you who might not know, borderline makes you feel like a fucking pregnant foid; one moment you feel a certain feeling, the next you can feel the exact opposite and in a very strong way. And this only works from good to bad. Meaning if you do not have any current suicidal or self-harm proning thoughts at the moment, one little event can change it all, and then you are cutting yourself before you know it.

So, one day, I felt extremely bad and had acute suicidal and self-harm thoughts. But I decided to get on to the good side of the workers and the doctors here, so instead of acting on my feelings, I went to the workers' room and knocked and waited patiently. They did not open. I knocked again, and this time as I knocked, I said: "I'm having suicidal thoughts and have a strong desire to hurt myself. Can we please have a talk?" A landwhale bitchy foid opened the door and said with an angry looking face: "What?" I repeated my request and after she heard it, she pointed to the food she was eating, and she said angrily: "Can't you see, I'm in the middle of eating my food here." I was immediately filled with even more acute thoughts of suicide and self-harm, but I kept my cool and said: "It is your job to help me when I need it, your leisure activity can wait". She replied even more angrily to that and said: "I'm on a pause right now, and I do not need to do anything until my pause is over, now get out". Then she shut the door to my face, and as she did, the door hit hard on my face.

At that moment, I was done, I would not play nice anymore, I would not hold my suicidal and self-harm thoughts back, I would unleash them, then make that landwhale whore regret what she said to me and the way she treated me.

So, as you know, after the events of the first entry, there is no glass here anymore, so cutting myself was no longer an option. I explored every single place, every nook and cranny in the facility to find something, anything with the help of which I could hurt myself significantly. I failed. There was simply nothing.

Then I came with an idea which would hopefully punish that dumb whore even more than I originally thought it would. I knocked on her door, and was very kind this time. I smiled, and said: "I apologize for my previous behavior, can I please have a shampoo and a liquid soap? I would like to take a shower and I also lack a soap. Since I had just mentioned about my suicidal and self-harm thoughts to her, I did not think she would give them to me. But she was not just foid stupid, she was also blonde stupid. So, that blonde bitch gave me shampoo and soap and continued to eat her meal in a landwhale fashion.

I went to the bathroom, locked the door, and started drinking the shampoo. It was extremely agonizing, my throat hurt like a bitch, but I was determined to make that entitled whore pay. So, I kept drinking, and I started vomiting blood the more I drank. I think it took me around one hour to be able to completely drink the shampoo and the ground was covered with blood because of my vomit. I had no strength left for the soap, but I still drank like a quarter of it, and then I couldn't stand up anymore and fell down and partly passed out. I couldn't breath, so instinctively. I kept knocking on the door. My roommate was inside, and he kept asking: "What's up?". I answered only with coughs and failed attempts of heavy breathing. He immediately called the landwhale foid and as she came, I looked her right in the eye and smiled a wicked smile as if I won a war against her. It was awesome to see the scare on her face and the shaking on her fat hand as she called the doctor.

I was transferred to the intensive care, and had to stay there for 2 days. I explained everything, from how I sought help, and the way my cries for help get rejected. I also said she hit my head hard with the door. They informed the psychiatric facility with the information I provided, and the psychiatric facility investigated the cameras and the audio. It was obviously as I said it happened. They concluded I was right. Now comes the best part:

THE FOID GOT FIRED. I COST THE DUMB BLONDE BITCH HER JOB.

Obviously the doctors didn't apologize to me or anything like that and they said a worker can not always immediately help, and in these cases I simply must be able to control my emotions. They also explained, she was not fired for not helping me immediately, but because of the "unprofessional" and "hostile" way she treated while also rejecting to help a patient in obvious need.

They also give me shampoo and soap in very little bottles now and whenever I have to go to the toilet, I am not allowed to lock the door and a worker always waits in front of the door. They do the same when I have to take a shower.

Sometimes, I take my sweet time just by standing in the toilet in order to make them wait in boredom and they get immediately worried and start knocking. Then I reply, "I'm fine, I just need more time", then I make them wait even more just by standing until they can not take it anymore and order me to get out now.

Finally, that sweet girl I mentioned at the first chapter was nothing but a bimbo. After I returned from the intensive care she came to visit me in my room and we talked for a while. Afterwards she started showing pictures and videos to me on her phone. A lot of the pictures were from LGBTQ parades and I was immediately disgusted with the girl despite her beauty. I thanked her for showing me the pictures on her phone, but I said that LGBTQ are perverted creeps and I do not want to be friends with someone who identifies with the group. I said I hate them with a passion, so I'm sure she wouldn't want to be friends, anyway. She had a meltdown, shouted at me saying that I'm a disgusting bigot and stormed out of my room. Shortly after an employee came and told me he was informed by the girl about our conversation. He asked if it was true. I said yes. He said this counts as discrimination, which is not allowed and if I do it again I will be punished.

I didn't give a reply and just gave an uncaring Squidward look while also shrugging.

To be continued...
 
Most brutal no reply pill.
 
I'm sorry for saying I was famous, okay? Can someone please say something about my experience, because I'm about to go crazy in this closed psychiatric facility. Getting ignored even by fellow incels is a new low.
 
This is a very well put together journal entry given your situation.

She replied even more angrily to that and said: "I'm on a pause right now, and I do not need to do anything until my pause is over, now get out". Then she shut the door to my face, and as she did, the door hit hard on my face.
Ragefuel, but not surprising given it’s a foid.

Since I had just mentioned about my suicidal and self-harm thoughts to her, I did not think she would give them to me. But she was not just foid stupid, she was also blonde stupid. So, that blonde bitch gave me shampoo and soap and continued to eat her meal in a landwhale fashion.
JFL, what a dumb cunt.

THE FOID GOT FIRED. I COST THE DUMB BLONDE BITCH HER JOB.
Lifefuel :feelskek:

Afterwards she started showing pictures and videos to me on her phone. A lot of the pictures were from LGBTQ parades and I was immediately disgusted with the girl despite her beauty. I thanked her for showing me the pictures on her phone, but I said that LGBTQ are perverted creeps and I do not want to be friends with someone who identifies with the group. I said I hate them with a passion
Very based.

Stop hurting yourself though, that’s not based.
 
This is a very well put together journal entry given your situation.


Ragefuel, but not surprising given it’s a foid.


JFL, what a dumb cunt.


Lifefuel :feelskek:


Very based.

Stop hurting yourself though, that’s not based.
Thanks for the positive reply, brocel.

Yeah, she was a very dumb cunt. I would not wish on anyone to lose their job, but that bitched deserved it.

I also felt very based while being honest to the LGBTQ girl.
 
You seem Careless " , but a careless Incel is still an Incel .

Hope you can get out of there someday , and just neet and chill .
 
Part 3 release date ?
I was hoping to publish it way earlier, since everyday something worth mentioning happens here. But the disinterest in this one thread made me feel dejected and discouraged a bit. But these recent replies caused me to feel like start writing it these days. Tomorrow, or on Friday at the latest. Stay tuned, brocel.
 
You seem Careless " , but a careless Incel is still an Incel .

Hope you can get out of there someday , and just neet and chill .
I'm not sure if it's carelessness. It's certainly a problem, but carelessness sort of implies that it's my decision.
 
I'm not sure if it's carelessness. It's certainly a problem, but carelessness sort of implies that it's my decision.
You went out of your way to drink Shampoo , not many people would do that unless , there is a Huge Reward waiting for them .

Your pretty based in that regard . Still make sure you can be save somehow . Unless you really have a death wish " .
 
You went out of your way to drink Shampoo , not many people would do that unless , there is a Huge Reward waiting for them .

Your pretty based in that regard . Still make sure you can be save somehow . Unless you really have a death wish " .
You're right. I wouldn't think that I would be able to do that. But it is the symptoms. I can not think of any other explanation for it. The impulsivity is so strong and I can not control my actions, even if it means I am going to hurt myself significantly; or to put it more specifically, especially if it means I am going to hurt myself significantly.

Thanks for describing me as based, too.
 
Legend in the making! I have high hopes for you.
 

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