Deleted member 8353
Former Hikikomori, Aimless Pleasure Seeker
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- Joined
- May 29, 2018
- Posts
- 9,343
It simply makes no sense at all. If you're not going to try your best to make your life as comfortable as possible for yourself, then it follows that suicide is within your best interest. Anything less is essentially an exercise in prolonging and increasing your own suffering for no good reason. As obvious as it might sound, it took me a very long time to fully realize that.
I spent years trying to suppress my desires, trying to simply accept my life as it was. But the more I tried to do this, the further I was from my goal. I was arrogant enough to believe that I could will myself to stop wanting anything, though I was ultimately fooling myself. This wasn't a pursuit that I decided upon due to genuinely believing that it was the best option, or that I was capable of achieving anything close to that, but rather because I was so much of a broken coward that it was the only path available to me. So really all that I accomplished by doing this was making sure that I'd feel the least amount of pleasure possible for no other reason than because I was too dysfunctional and had too many mental barriers to be capable of progressing towards anything that I wanted. Does that sound like someone who would be strong enough to give up on desire? JFL.
It was only when I became determined to kill myself that I realized how stupid I had been, and at that point I decided that instead of killing myself right now, I will use every last bit of energy I have left to live the life I want to live, and to have the experiences which I want until I can't continue any longer.
If you LDAR, all you're doing is deciding to experience a whole lot of pain for no reason, and then doing nothing about it, just letting it happen to you. It's the worst possible path to take, and instead of "getting back at society", all you're doing is sabotaging and harming yourself.
I spent years trying to suppress my desires, trying to simply accept my life as it was. But the more I tried to do this, the further I was from my goal. I was arrogant enough to believe that I could will myself to stop wanting anything, though I was ultimately fooling myself. This wasn't a pursuit that I decided upon due to genuinely believing that it was the best option, or that I was capable of achieving anything close to that, but rather because I was so much of a broken coward that it was the only path available to me. So really all that I accomplished by doing this was making sure that I'd feel the least amount of pleasure possible for no other reason than because I was too dysfunctional and had too many mental barriers to be capable of progressing towards anything that I wanted. Does that sound like someone who would be strong enough to give up on desire? JFL.
It was only when I became determined to kill myself that I realized how stupid I had been, and at that point I decided that instead of killing myself right now, I will use every last bit of energy I have left to live the life I want to live, and to have the experiences which I want until I can't continue any longer.
If you LDAR, all you're doing is deciding to experience a whole lot of pain for no reason, and then doing nothing about it, just letting it happen to you. It's the worst possible path to take, and instead of "getting back at society", all you're doing is sabotaging and harming yourself.
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