B
100% - Not an incel
Let me first introduce myself:
-6’3 half black half white, muscular/sixpack, nice jawline, highly educated
- am I a virgin? No; too bad for you bro
- Age 34
I cant talk to anyone about this. I have to keep it a secret again how my life turned out and how Im choosing (not) to live it
Yesterday I was at the mall, and its been a while since Ive been around families and kids. It is just hard to understand why and how I could end up living one of my worst fears - going through life itself without ever having partnered up with a girl or woman. I havent even gotten started. It is so sad that it is unbelievable.
There can only be speculations as to why. I am starting to think I am born with some kind of retardation that people have just never told me, maybe some servere form for autism or something else I dont understand. Or, considering my tinderstats (250k swipes, 500 matches, 2 dates), I think looks, maybe nose is too big or I have some asymmetry on the face that is making me look like a monster on close inspection. From my view non the less I am handsome and a great guy, even if I am constantly reminded every time I come in contact with women that I am clearly NOT. My male friends and family usually say Im handsome, but that just cant be possible - then I must be full retard in that case.
But it is just so extremely non-fanthomable that I will live through the entirety of my life without having ever had a girlfriend, experiences love or having had access to sex. I will never have kids or a family, or just be able to hang out with an attractive girl just her and I.
What is this life and why are things not different when life is so cruel. 20 years of emotional pain, and a rest of life spent the same, unable to work, just me, alone snd my PC, 35 years old, waiting to die. LDAR at its finest.
-6’3 half black half white, muscular/sixpack, nice jawline, highly educated
- am I a virgin? No; too bad for you bro
- Age 34
I cant talk to anyone about this. I have to keep it a secret again how my life turned out and how Im choosing (not) to live it
Yesterday I was at the mall, and its been a while since Ive been around families and kids. It is just hard to understand why and how I could end up living one of my worst fears - going through life itself without ever having partnered up with a girl or woman. I havent even gotten started. It is so sad that it is unbelievable.
There can only be speculations as to why. I am starting to think I am born with some kind of retardation that people have just never told me, maybe some servere form for autism or something else I dont understand. Or, considering my tinderstats (250k swipes, 500 matches, 2 dates), I think looks, maybe nose is too big or I have some asymmetry on the face that is making me look like a monster on close inspection. From my view non the less I am handsome and a great guy, even if I am constantly reminded every time I come in contact with women that I am clearly NOT. My male friends and family usually say Im handsome, but that just cant be possible - then I must be full retard in that case.
But it is just so extremely non-fanthomable that I will live through the entirety of my life without having ever had a girlfriend, experiences love or having had access to sex. I will never have kids or a family, or just be able to hang out with an attractive girl just her and I.
What is this life and why are things not different when life is so cruel. 20 years of emotional pain, and a rest of life spent the same, unable to work, just me, alone snd my PC, 35 years old, waiting to die. LDAR at its finest.
