“It’s precisely the ‘soft boys’ and the ‘nice guys’ who have these misogynistic views that will turn on you in a second,” says Tina, a trans woman who once subscribed to incel culture before her transition. In an interview with Maclean’s, she explained that the culture is not built around a desire for sex, but resentment over a perceived loss of power. “If you don’t fit their established hierarchy of men on top, fulfilling their sexual needs, and getting whatever they want, you’re the enemy.”
For Tina, the catalyst that put her on the path to to incel culture (prior to her transition) was what she described as chronic loneliness and depression. “I [later] realized that that was gender dysphoria working its way out. I always wanted to be ‘the nice guy,’ because I was rebelling against masculinity.” Incel culture offered an emotional crutch for lonely men that placed the blame for society valuing a particular type of man – the “Alpha male,” – and it seemed she had found kindred souls. But after spending some time in the forums, and being exposed to the rampant misogyny and racism, the environment began to sour. “These people are fundamentally opposed to an indelible aspect of my personality,” she said. “And I felt that I could connect with women, almost better than I could with dudes.” It was in accepting herself at the time as a “soft boy,” and turning away from the toxic atmosphere, that Tina left the incel boards and developed a healthier relationship with her gender identity.
For Tina, the catalyst that put her on the path to to incel culture (prior to her transition) was what she described as chronic loneliness and depression. “I [later] realized that that was gender dysphoria working its way out. I always wanted to be ‘the nice guy,’ because I was rebelling against masculinity.” Incel culture offered an emotional crutch for lonely men that placed the blame for society valuing a particular type of man – the “Alpha male,” – and it seemed she had found kindred souls. But after spending some time in the forums, and being exposed to the rampant misogyny and racism, the environment began to sour. “These people are fundamentally opposed to an indelible aspect of my personality,” she said. “And I felt that I could connect with women, almost better than I could with dudes.” It was in accepting herself at the time as a “soft boy,” and turning away from the toxic atmosphere, that Tina left the incel boards and developed a healthier relationship with her gender identity.
