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Maybe I should stop going outside for good, it seems I can only cope with this shitty life secluded in my room, because everywhere I go I'm remembered of my misery.
Tried to hang out with some acquaintance of mine, I couldn't even socialize with them. Not even trying I could be NT they kept asking me if there was something wrong with me, why I was so quiet. I wish things were easier but most of the times I feel so out of place and not even forcing myself I can come off as anything close to an non-autistic person. Well, not that they gave much of shit to the things I had so say anyways, maybe my brain just know beforehand that I'd be ignored anyways... Fuck that
One of these guys was with his jb gf, they were kissing and hugging all the time. Before I could notice, I was pretty much surrounded by couples. Everywhere. Even dykes were passing by with their gfs.
I felt so fucking lonely at that moment... When I was going to get myself something to eat I actually saw a lifefuel thing: a balding 5'5 dude with his somewhat looksmatch gf, they were the same height I presume. He definitely wasn't gl, perhaps normie if he weren't a NW3 manlet. Both of them were leaving their job and taking selfies, I think they both work at mcdonalds judging by the uniforms.
Man, I envy that guy. And I felt very, very miserable. Because I know that I will never have this. I could see just by watching them that these things happen naturally... I've come this far without any of that, why would I think that now out of sudden things will get better? Why would I think that if I keep improving myself, like I always did, would make things different?
I doubt that guy did have to improve himself or any bs. He was just a bald manlet with a shitty job. Yet, he mogs me. I'm trash next to him. Because no matter what I do, or what I have, if I'm not loved I'll forever be the most miserable of men...
View: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TjPhzgxe3L0
Tried to hang out with some acquaintance of mine, I couldn't even socialize with them. Not even trying I could be NT they kept asking me if there was something wrong with me, why I was so quiet. I wish things were easier but most of the times I feel so out of place and not even forcing myself I can come off as anything close to an non-autistic person. Well, not that they gave much of shit to the things I had so say anyways, maybe my brain just know beforehand that I'd be ignored anyways... Fuck that
One of these guys was with his jb gf, they were kissing and hugging all the time. Before I could notice, I was pretty much surrounded by couples. Everywhere. Even dykes were passing by with their gfs.
I felt so fucking lonely at that moment... When I was going to get myself something to eat I actually saw a lifefuel thing: a balding 5'5 dude with his somewhat looksmatch gf, they were the same height I presume. He definitely wasn't gl, perhaps normie if he weren't a NW3 manlet. Both of them were leaving their job and taking selfies, I think they both work at mcdonalds judging by the uniforms.
Man, I envy that guy. And I felt very, very miserable. Because I know that I will never have this. I could see just by watching them that these things happen naturally... I've come this far without any of that, why would I think that now out of sudden things will get better? Why would I think that if I keep improving myself, like I always did, would make things different?
I doubt that guy did have to improve himself or any bs. He was just a bald manlet with a shitty job. Yet, he mogs me. I'm trash next to him. Because no matter what I do, or what I have, if I'm not loved I'll forever be the most miserable of men...
View: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TjPhzgxe3L0
