Why?
Why does that 13-year-old boy have a girlfriend and not me?
Why does he have to have someone he can hold the hand of while I spend all my days alone, holed up in my room, and be a social reject?
Why do I have to work for it? Why do I have to go to university and get an income if I want a girlfriend, but the kid that hasn't even graduated elementary school gets to have one? Have a girl in the prime years of his life, in his childhood, the best joy of a man's life that many would die for, all his expenses paid, living in his parents' house and eating his parents' food, and not me? Doesn't that seem unfair?
I know I'm not entitled to a girlfriend, no one is entitled to anything, but it's eating me up inside. I have the worst kind of pain inside me, like my insides are burning. I get tears in my eyes every time I think about it. Why do I get to have this life? Why, god? Why do you hate your own creation so much? Did I do something wrong? Tell me, tell me if I did. Tell me what made you hate me. Don't leave me here to suffer. Let this end.
I want to suffer the brunt of all your might if it means no one has to suffer like this. I want you all to have a companion, have someone you can live the rest of your lives with, be happy, and not die alone. Why do you have to do this to everyone? Let me take it. I'll take it. I'll take it.
I haven't even slept last night and I still have work despite studying all night.
The only escape is death. Only you can escape this prison.
I want to curl up and die.
Sorry for this type of thread. Just felt like venting. It's good for the mind just like crying. It won't give me pleasure, but at least it'll take away some of the pain I'm feeling.
Why does that 13-year-old boy have a girlfriend and not me?
Why does he have to have someone he can hold the hand of while I spend all my days alone, holed up in my room, and be a social reject?
Why do I have to work for it? Why do I have to go to university and get an income if I want a girlfriend, but the kid that hasn't even graduated elementary school gets to have one? Have a girl in the prime years of his life, in his childhood, the best joy of a man's life that many would die for, all his expenses paid, living in his parents' house and eating his parents' food, and not me? Doesn't that seem unfair?
I know I'm not entitled to a girlfriend, no one is entitled to anything, but it's eating me up inside. I have the worst kind of pain inside me, like my insides are burning. I get tears in my eyes every time I think about it. Why do I get to have this life? Why, god? Why do you hate your own creation so much? Did I do something wrong? Tell me, tell me if I did. Tell me what made you hate me. Don't leave me here to suffer. Let this end.
I want to suffer the brunt of all your might if it means no one has to suffer like this. I want you all to have a companion, have someone you can live the rest of your lives with, be happy, and not die alone. Why do you have to do this to everyone? Let me take it. I'll take it. I'll take it.
I haven't even slept last night and I still have work despite studying all night.
To live is to serve.
To live is to serve.
To live is to serve.
To live is to serve.
To live is to serve.
The only escape is death. Only you can escape this prison.
I want to curl up and die.
Sorry for this type of thread. Just felt like venting. It's good for the mind just like crying. It won't give me pleasure, but at least it'll take away some of the pain I'm feeling.
