No matter what you do in your life, you will always be seen as ugly and reprimanded for it constantly. There was once a point in my life, for instance, where I was extremely passionate and driven enough to acclimate to academic success at University. And although this had seemed to inevitably lead me into almost becoming something "great" according to some of my mentors and professors, all of my own efforts had only spired down to a life of emptiness and neuroticism in the pursuits of finding some fulfillment in my life to compensate for my own ugliness. Spending a few years of my life attempting to improve myself in general was only ever met with rebuttal from people I've encountered irl, reminding me of my predicament. This only lead to more depression. We live in a world where merit matters very little and where other people are rewarded and given opportunities despite putting very little effort in "earning" their supposed achievements.
Just a reminder: your personality is perceived BY THE WAY YOU LOOK. Nobody will ever accredit you to anything worthwhile unless you pass a certain looks threshold. We live in a society where what you discover alone matters nil to none and the moment you attempt to gain any merit of self-dignity afterwards will only get you gaslit by normal people all the while more. Do not work hard at anything in your life, it will only lead to more disappointment. Rather, be who you're meant to be and care little for what others think of you. Take advantage of everything you can, there is little to no control you have over your life, so you might as well be conscious of your predisposition and reap whatever advantages you do happen to have any control over for your own sake. Fuck everyone else.
Sorry for the rant. I'm very drunk and in the need of venting. I have this useless Math degree under my bed and it only just reminded me of how many years I've wasted attempting to "self-improve" during that time in my life. All of this has made me question what all of my efforts were even for in the first place.
Just a reminder: your personality is perceived BY THE WAY YOU LOOK. Nobody will ever accredit you to anything worthwhile unless you pass a certain looks threshold. We live in a society where what you discover alone matters nil to none and the moment you attempt to gain any merit of self-dignity afterwards will only get you gaslit by normal people all the while more. Do not work hard at anything in your life, it will only lead to more disappointment. Rather, be who you're meant to be and care little for what others think of you. Take advantage of everything you can, there is little to no control you have over your life, so you might as well be conscious of your predisposition and reap whatever advantages you do happen to have any control over for your own sake. Fuck everyone else.
Sorry for the rant. I'm very drunk and in the need of venting. I have this useless Math degree under my bed and it only just reminded me of how many years I've wasted attempting to "self-improve" during that time in my life. All of this has made me question what all of my efforts were even for in the first place.
I'm sorry to hear that. I wish I could have finished my math degree tbh.
