L
Lebensmüder
Soon to be deleted account
★★★
- Joined
- Aug 21, 2018
- Posts
- 5,202
During my studies/work I got to know an autistic girl and thought that this could finally lead to somewhere. We also had some of the same interests (like biology/medicine). We talked often about these subjects, it's rare to find someone remotely interested in that. Really thought that I had won the lottery.
Then the following quotes: "You should really get a life!" She thought that I was obsessing too hard about it and that I didn't have any remotely normal life at all. She unironically told me that it seemed like my life only consisted out of working/studying, watching TV, reading books about animals/medicine and sleeping and that I should get my life in order and do something else.
"Do you do something else except those things?" was unironically one of her questions, the honest answer was "No!", I do nothing in my life except those things, due to having motoric problems I never learned sports/dancing/playing instruments because the efforts were fruitless anyways, I also don't go out because of them (especially due to my way of walking/grabbing stuff with my hands), from my parents I only learned how to be a good/efficient worker and I only had one friend in my entire life. Jfl, made me extremely sad because not even autistic women could relate to anything I experienced (not even talking about my school experiences/12 years of bullying or the other stuff with major depression/no interest in living). Not only do autistic girls have it easier socially (despite worse social skills), but they also don't "suffer" from "obsessions" as much as males.
Even autistic women (who should be able to relate to my life experiences due to having the same problem) tell me that I am a fucking failure of a human being, was years ago and the last time I approached a woman. Even autistic women want NT chads. Not even she was interested in me/anything from me. This was the last time I ever approached a woman. Jfl, Autism is a joke when it affects women, the symptoms suddenly disappear when a tall NT chad appears. A meme disease in one gender, a death sentence in another.
Then the following quotes: "You should really get a life!" She thought that I was obsessing too hard about it and that I didn't have any remotely normal life at all. She unironically told me that it seemed like my life only consisted out of working/studying, watching TV, reading books about animals/medicine and sleeping and that I should get my life in order and do something else.
"Do you do something else except those things?" was unironically one of her questions, the honest answer was "No!", I do nothing in my life except those things, due to having motoric problems I never learned sports/dancing/playing instruments because the efforts were fruitless anyways, I also don't go out because of them (especially due to my way of walking/grabbing stuff with my hands), from my parents I only learned how to be a good/efficient worker and I only had one friend in my entire life. Jfl, made me extremely sad because not even autistic women could relate to anything I experienced (not even talking about my school experiences/12 years of bullying or the other stuff with major depression/no interest in living). Not only do autistic girls have it easier socially (despite worse social skills), but they also don't "suffer" from "obsessions" as much as males.
Even autistic women (who should be able to relate to my life experiences due to having the same problem) tell me that I am a fucking failure of a human being, was years ago and the last time I approached a woman. Even autistic women want NT chads. Not even she was interested in me/anything from me. This was the last time I ever approached a woman. Jfl, Autism is a joke when it affects women, the symptoms suddenly disappear when a tall NT chad appears. A meme disease in one gender, a death sentence in another.
A few years after that conversation my life is even more fucked up, nowadays I only listen to music the entire day, rarely put effort into anything anymore and have a completely fucked up sleep rhythm, mostly sit on the computer or learn the absolute basics for an education/job that doesn't even interest me anymore just to keep being employed, then I work out in the night after learning the basics of muscle training (am shitty in it, but do it due to feeling better afterwards) until I fall asleep and then I do the same thing the next day after suppressing my headaches with Aspirin, I cannot read anything anymore because my eyesight/attention span is fucked up (see things double/blurry) and if it came to me I would just watch TV all day, I also have compulsions (checking doors if they are locked/counting stuff). Hate everything about my life.