SuicideFuel Genuinely questioning the point of my continued existence

[sinclair_silence]

I'm not going to call it "life" because it is far more of an existence. I went on a walk today to get away from my impossible schoolwork (I have an exam in two days that I'm going to fail). It was a mistake. I walked in a field by my dorm building that was extremely muddy and was already annoyed with having soiling my shoes. Then right as I was turning to go back into my building I saw this giga-chad Black man with a small Asian girl walking together, they were so happy. I was appalled because I had actually seen them earlier in the day when I was still inside my dorm. I find that these things often happen at the end of an outing or when I am about to leave someplace, and only then do I see a couple that crushes me. Then once I was back in the building and almost into my room (notice again at the end), I saw in the lounge area another couple, and the boy was leaning back on the girl, they were so in love. It was horrible that they were RIGHT outside my room, I can't be safe anywhere except the confines of my room itself (thank God, I have a single, if I had a roommate who brought girls over, I would actually kill myself).

I am demoralized and overwhelmed. The classes have gotten a lot harder this semester and my grades are getting worse. I genuinely feel like there is no point to my existence. School used to give me some sense of meaning because I was good at the content; now, I struggle to churn out mediocre answers after hours of work… I am surrounded by gleeful normies and sexhaving chads living lives, while I watch my academics decline. When I am deep in work I wish for the breaks to come, then when they come I am alone with my thoughts and wish for the work to return. Everything feels cyclic and worthless. I'm not living, just existing by inertia.

 

[despisedpaul]

just grind it out.. what class are you even struggling with
and i can relate because inceldom destroys academics. its hard to study when you dont have cute pussy or friends to look forward to later

 

[sinclair_silence]

just grind it out.. what class are you even struggling with
and i can relate because inceldom destroys academics. its hard to study when you dont have cute pussy or friends to look forward to later

i am very diligent in studying, but the classes have gotten too hard this time—it's hard to just grind it out when you can barely understand what the question is asking. the hardest classes this semester are genetics, which is a double-knockout because it's all about breeding i have a lab period where we cross fruit flies so i am literally getting mogged by flies, just think about that

i have a few friends, actually. i'm not as isolated as most people on this site. even though having no pussy destroys me every day, the truth is that things could be worse.