Right now, I just rot. Here's my story:
1. I remained blue + red pilled throughout high school and college because I was sheltered by my parents and lived a socially isolated lifestyle. I was bullied a bit, but never thought much of it. I believed in the value of hard work and put nearly all of my life force into my STEM degree. Ignored the reality that academic/career success was all about IQ, given that my more intelligent peers were doing much better than me in spite of less effort.
2. I was completely burned out after graduating, but continued to carry the red pill belief that hard work would carry me forward. However, I found that I was still lagging behind and job prospects were looking exceedingly out of reach. Employers want 5 years of experience from entry level people. They are exactly like chad chasing hypergamous foids, who demand perfection from their employees while paying them the bare minimum.
3. As my exhaustion grew and progress stalled, I started to recognize the importance of having high IQ (i.e., good genetics) and that was my first blackpill. You see, I was a studycel currycel all my life and girls weren't my priority; my career success was. At that time, I was very bluepilled and assumed that I'd somehow be able to get a fairly attractive girl in spite of being socially alienated and girls ignoring me.
4. Eventually, I encountered the r/TRP, then, r/Braincels and eventually this place. And the rest is history! I immersed myself into the blackpill and had a tremendous amount of awakening. I learnt about looks theory, increased my knowledge about the racepill, and about biological determinism. Its been more than 2 years since I encountered the incel community and I'm now an LDARing NEET 29 year old who is pretty depressed and suicidal.
