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Edmund_Kemper
Disregard my larping efforts. I can’t change it.
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- Joined
- Sep 26, 2019
- Posts
- 25,309
READ THE ABOVE URL FIRST
i already got in an argument with them both about having a car on campus. now i feel like i can never move out on my own. i fucking hate autism. Authority figures acknowledge autism being a diverse spectrum yet they put us all in programs together giving us the same exact help as each other like as if we're a homogeneous group of people instead. So i get paired up with guys who have exceptionally bad social skills while mine's were good and who acted super awkward and they'd teach me basic social skills i already learned as a toddler. And my parents never infantilized my siblings but they infantilized me all the fuckin time.
and i won't lie, aside from contemplating suicide, i had a couple of thoughts accidentally come into me where i would kill them in GTA 5 first before i rope. am i saying i would kill them? no. whether i am or not isn't going to be answered due to my mind being ambivalent. they think they have nothing to do with why i never grew up at 23, but they are the reason. i didn't fall behind my peers until high school, and that's when my parents' infantilization began more.
and while my mom was a shitty parent, my dad never nurtured me. He would spend his time hours a day in the study room writing emails, doing work, and talking on the phone and thus only comprised like 10% of my upbringing. I basically was raised in a way equivalent to a single mom. Fuck my dad and fuck my mom.
and now i can't practice driving to get my license because while my mom screams over mistakes i make while driving, my dad, who used to be calm while practicing, is now acting like my mom during driving.
i'm gonna get to the brink of roping.