I remember about a week before enlisting I was so happy and full of energy. I constantly wanted to do things, go out, do sports, drive, buy things. I was also kinda over not getting laid simply because of said energy merely breathing made me smile.
After enlisting and especially after getting special forces all that died. I became miserable and lazy. Idk why, was it cause of the pressure, was it cause of being yelled at and abused, I rly can’t tell. But i vividly remember spending every night at some point as a guard staring at the stars and crying because the sky was the only thing thats the same regardless of where you are.
The military service is just tears and loneliness and every time I go out it’s just not the same as it was before. Sometimes I feel like my t levels dropped while here, I was more of a man before I became a soldier because I had freedom and control which now I don’t. So what if I couldn’t have sex? I could take the pain but now I cry like a faggot.
After enlisting and especially after getting special forces all that died. I became miserable and lazy. Idk why, was it cause of the pressure, was it cause of being yelled at and abused, I rly can’t tell. But i vividly remember spending every night at some point as a guard staring at the stars and crying because the sky was the only thing thats the same regardless of where you are.
The military service is just tears and loneliness and every time I go out it’s just not the same as it was before. Sometimes I feel like my t levels dropped while here, I was more of a man before I became a soldier because I had freedom and control which now I don’t. So what if I couldn’t have sex? I could take the pain but now I cry like a faggot.
